This is going to be my second Mother’s Day since my husband suddenly left this earth.
My husband, Rob made Mother’s Day very special. Not in the way that some women expect the day to go….with bouquets, diamonds and jewelry. He wanted me to do whatever I needed that day. He encouraged me to go for a long run and take time for myself. Yet, I did the same thing every year! I spent my day with my little family. That’s what I wanted (and to go running uninterrupted).
So, now, after our devastating loss, I am still a mother.
I still have Mother’s Day to celebrate.
Rather than fixating on our devastating loss, I will change my laser focus to the two healthy and beautiful children that I have before my eyes every day. I am grateful for the Mother’s Days that my husband was here. It makes me smile and laugh out loud as I recall some of the gifts and memories of years past. Rob was a keeper! And forever I will nurture and treasure him in my heart and in the hearts of our children.
I don’t want to live a sad life.
The past 20 months have been hell. That said, I have a perspective on life that few people have. The kids and I love the small moments, laugh at the silliest things, thank God for our incredible support network of family and friends. We have so many blessings in our lives that we can’t count them any longer!
On Mother’s Day I will have the lump in my throat and emptiness in my heart. I will also have Sean and Bridie who love me and depend on me every moment of the day. We are loved and supported. I will do my very best to focus on the beauty that is before me. I will try my best.
On Mother’s Day, I will wake up, think about him, offer my sadness and pain to the universe and find things throughout the day to laugh about. We all need to laugh. My advice to my sweet widow friends, save space in your hearts to laugh and find one small moment to be thankful for.
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